can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
