im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
