We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
