I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
