"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
