I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
