my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
