he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
