thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
