Is it because I queefed?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize