Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
