So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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