Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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