we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
either way he was missing a nipple.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
