also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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