You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
