Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
