the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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