I'm really into asian looking animals
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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