i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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