i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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