MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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