Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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