so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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