How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
