When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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