I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
