I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
