I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
