whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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