Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
