did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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