so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
