just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
