Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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