so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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