I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
