your parents love me but you hate me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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