ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
