We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
