hotel room ftw
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
