So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
