i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
