i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
