So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
