Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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