My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
