p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
