I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize