Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she told me i tasted like america
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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