I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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