I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
