You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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