did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
