we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
dude. I can hear the air.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
