just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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