Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
