Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
