Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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