I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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