Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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