Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
