So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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