Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize