can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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