i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
