Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
God I need to hump something, right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize