Having a random hookup so left but love u
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You are the jesus of drinking
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
