Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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