I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
